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At Sea

by Musical Care

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Feather Girl 03:06
bring me someone else, half-japanese dead weather girl i can't even tell how much you mean, green feather girl you have to understand, this is the end of that other world so can you hold my hand and watch the waves for these stomach bugs we sailed through hidden lands you have the hands of the oceanist i try to comprehend how much of me you've been aiming at leave your tired friend, the phantom thread from your daydreams and kiss me under stars we can pretend that we're in ireland
Lullaby X 04:16
Tangerine 05:01
i step into the fire and it feels.... i want you, sledova my mind is a spider, and it's spinning.... i want you, sledova this was never a dream. you've been circling a fantasy run away, tangerine go dark with me my heart is a lion heading straight for.... i need you, sledova this was never a dream... you've been circling a fantasy run away, tangerine go dark with me...
At Sea 03:05
close all the doors, here comes the night... think of your kid, think of your wife what will you say? what will you change? why don't you pray? it's all the same pray to the rain, pray your god, pray to your ghosts, pray for your cause listen for screams--they're not what they seem hang on to the walls, hang on to your dreams who have they hurt? it's all a blur put on a smile, pretend that you're high hold on for days, without meaning the light, it waits for you hold on for days, without meaning the light, it waits for you still make-believe, color in green make up some more songs about your esteem now you turn blue again, it's with you to rope in the reds--careful, it's you hold on for days, without meaning the light, it waits for you hold on for days, without meaning the light, it waits for you
Violent Pink 04:42
sometimes it snows snows a violent white sometimes it snows (falling slowly all of the while) the sunshine hides everyone you know the dreadful sun (fading all the colors to black and white) sometimes it rains rains a muted pink sometimes it rains (washing off the edges of structure and time) the moonlight aches with everything you love the sullen moon (folding hope beneath its selfish tides) sometimes it shakes shakes with lightning ash sometimes it shakes (blinding, drowning out your careful song) this time will pass memory will be gone time will pass
can you save a terror in the wind, a comet in your skin? how can i say, the sea is falling through....don't want to dance with you can you please pretend it didn't end, pretend you're still with me? under your spell, our lonely hearts, where sometimes long to die i tried and tried to find a quiet mind, a lesser nervous side so i was kind and gave you all the time, and saw it in your eyes
Secret 03:13
all along the ocean there's a secret in the air tell it to me, sweetheart. tell me truths that i can bear. just a drunken nightmare, just a starry dream there's lilies in my bed. i'll be spinning till i'm dead, i know... sirens of the sea and me. slow-dance with the devil leave your flowers at her grave wander with me, darling. keep the promises you made. i could never hurt a fly. there's lilies in my bed. now i'm seeing all the red.... just a drunken nightmare, just a starry dream circling through my head, like an aeroplane of death, i know... it's just the sirens of the sea and me.
you told me not to memorize all of the pretty lights but when i get the blues, there's nothing i won't do i want to touch you so, oh my thinking i want to lose control... what was i thinking? you said don't ever ring the bell i try to wish you well but when i get the reds, all my thoughts turn to dead oh, please fill my hands with all of your red with all of your red....


Dedicated to kind people.


released January 1, 2020

Recorded in the eagle treehouse/bedrock rehearsal/coyote den, los angeles ca, the euclidean underground, portland or and dollhouse towers, boston ma summer/fall 2019.

Music written, recorded, and produced by ryan jebavy [ASCAP]
grayless recordings [gr-42]

danny askar - drums, additional vocals "violent pink"
river priest - additional synths "tangerine"
andrew scandal - electric guitar "secret"
ryan jebavy - vocals, piano, omnichord, synths, guitar, bass

design by leslie saucer


all rights reserved



Musical Care Los Angeles, California

Musical Care is the music of songwriter Ryan Jebavy. In the clouds since 1999. (painting by Dale Shikowski)

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